If you flip someone off in traffic, you might get angry stares or a nasty honk of the car horn, but if you do it in court, expect much more severe consequences.

A McHenry County [Illinois] man found that out the hard way.

Kane Kellett, 24, raised his middle finger while he was being sworn in to face home invasion charges at a rights hearing, the Daily Herald reported. He also hurled profanity at Judge G. Martin Zopp.

Zopp promptly gave Kellett six months in jail for contempt of court.

H/T CBS 2 Chicago

General rule, people:  The clothing you wear to court should say nothing about you besides, “I am an upstanding citizen of North Carolina deserving of mercy and trust.”  I recently saw a shirt in court with the name of what appeared to be a band. This band had chosen to name itself after the Latin phrase Tabula Rasa, meaning “blank slate”.  In and of itself, not the worst attire I’ve seen in court by a long stretch, but in this case, it only served to underscore and give hidden meaning to the vacant expression of its owner, who looked startlingly like this guy:

Unless you’re going for a lack of capacity defense, not a good look.

I am pleased to announce the addition of attorney Kris Hilscher to Page Law Office.  Mr. Hilscher is a bright and talented graduate of Campbell University School of Law, and I am excited to have him on board.

There have been times in the past in which it was difficult for me as a solo attorney to be in all the places I was needed and to quickly respond to current and prospective clients.  Having Kris on board greatly enhances my ability to ensure that all of my client’s needs are being met.  Now we are able to tackle our day as a team, whether that requires handling cases in multiple counties or responding to client inquiries while the other is in trial.

A recent admittee to the North Carolina Bar, Mr. Hilscher is a former Editor-in-Chief of the Campell Law Observer.  Moreover, during his third year in law school, he practiced with the 11th District Attorney’s Office in Johnston County and gained significant experience handling cases in criminal district court.  I expect that clients of Page Law Office will appreciate his writing talent, courtroom skills and the personal service he provides.

It stands to reason that if you’re in court as a party to some action, civil or criminal, you want the judge on your side.  Some times the judge is simply the referee, other times the judge will decide your entire case.  It is therefore vitally important to the success of your case that you do things that will encourage the judge to like you, and that you do NOT do things to make the judge dislike you.

I would think that this is simply stating the obvious, but based on personal observation, this thought is apparently quite elusive to some people.  As a public service, therefore, I bring you:  the DO’s and DONT’s of appearing in court.

DO:  Dress Professionally. Ladies, a nice church or office outfit.  Guys, this means a suit and tie.  Or at a bare minimum a collared shirt.  Funerals, weddings, job interviews and court.  You gotta dress up.  First impressions count.  If you look like a productive member of society you are more likely to be believed and treated kindly.

DON’T:  Dress Professionally (if your profession is prostitute, local drunk or rock musician). Seriously, folks.  Torn T-shirts?  Sweat pants?  ORANGE?  Good grief, just wear the Hamburglar outfit and be done with it.  If you look like a redneck hillbilly, gang member, or just criminally insane, you’ll probably be treated that way.

DO:  Be on Time. Heck, be early. It shows you take your case and the court’s time seriously.

DON’T:  Be Late. Being late shows you are unreliable.  This could damage your credibility.  It could make your case take longer to resolve.  It could mean you lose your case by default.  It could mean getting locked up.   It’s that serious.  Get a baby sitter.  Set two alarms.  Gas up the car.  Maybe, DON’T get wasted the night before.  That’d be a good idea.

DO:  Listen to and Follow Instructions. The court often gives instructions about how the day’s proceedings will be handled. You will hear them when you are on time (see above).   Following the instructions of the court allows the court’s proceedings to be handled more efficiently, which often means your case can be resolved sooner.

DON’T:  Make Up Your Own Rules. Despite what your mama may have told you, you’re not that special.  Trying to operate outside the usual rules of court irritates judges and attorneys, whose lives are made miserable and days made longer by people that can’t or won’t follow the rules of court. Wanna guess what happens when a judge thinks you’ve wasted their time?

DO:  Be Respectful. Remember what mama taught you.  Don’t slouch.  Speak up.  Say “sir” and “ma’am” (and “your honor”). Don’t talk back.  Wait your turn.  Treating the court with respect has almost become uncommon, such that you might get a favor from the judge just for doing it.

DON’T: Be Disrespectful. So what if the judge is a jerk or the witness is a liar or the attorney is out to get you.  Rant about it at home.  In court, being disrespectful, flippant, rude, or even nonchalant just makes the judge like you less.  The only point it proves is who has the real authority (Hint: It’s not you.)   Another word for disrespect is contempt.  The judge worked long and hard to get where they are.  Contempt of court can land you in jail. At a minimum, it alienates you from the judge and the attorneys and doesn’t encourage anyone to give you any extra help.  If you’re in court, no matter the reason, you need extra help.

DON’T:  Wing it. It’s amazing how many people walk into court without a clue what to do in their case.  They do all kinds of silly stuff like pleading not guilty on a speeding ticket with the officer in court without even once asking the DA for a reduction.  They ask the judge or DA for advice (which they can’t ethically give).  They fail to negotiate.  They ask for things and make motions and objections they know nothing about.  They don’t know what to bring to court.  They don’t know what to ask or say.  Sometimes, it works out okay.  Other times it doesn’t.  Either way, they don’t have enough expertise or experience to know if they got a good deal or not.

DO:  Consult with an Attorney. There’s a reason you have to go to school for at least 3 years and pass a two day exam to be an attorney.  This stuff can be complicated. No one expects you to know everything about court on your own.  An attorney can tell you about the law related to your case, walk you through winning strategies, advise you about the likely outcome and advocate for you in court, if necessary.  I can’t speak for all attorneys, but if I don’t think I can make a difference in your case, I won’t take your fee.  You owe it to yourself to at least speak to an attorney and find out what they think about your case and what they might be able to do for you.

Another in a long list of clothing I’ve seen it court that leaves me utterly gobsmacked.  Again, this comes from my time as an intern in the Alamance County DA’s Office.

This guy comes in as a prosecuting witness in an assault case.  The ADA is going to let me prosecute it, so she hands me the court file and sends me to go interview him.  He describes how he got home from church and his step-daughter hit him over the head with a vase without any provocation or warning.  We proceed to try the case and his testimony on direct examination is perfectly consistent with what he told me.

At this point, his wife gets up and testifies.   For the defendant.  This is the first sign that this is not going to go well.

She concedes that her daughter hit the man over the head with a vase, and that it was after he got home from church, however, she says he had been out somewhere drinking ever since church.  It was after 9 o’clock at night.  He was rip roaring drunk.  And he’d started fondling his niece.

When I turn to look at him for his response to these startling allegations, his face is a perfect mirror of the embroidered boy on his shirt with the sheepish grin and a caption that said, “I didn’t do it.”  Sigh.

“No further questions, your honor.”

If any person shall, on any public road or highway and in the hearing of two or more persons, in a loud and boisterous manner, use indecent or profane language, he shall be guilty of a Class 3 misdemeanor.  The following counties shall be exempt from the provisions of this section:  Pitt and Swain. N.C.G.S. 14-197

So… if you’re planning on using profane or indecent language in a populated street, make sure you’re in Greenville or Bryson City.  I’d love to know the back story on how these counties  got exempted.  I’m guessing that ECU football fans explains Greenville, but what’s up with Bryson City?

He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty, he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself. ~ Thomas Paine

God grants liberty only to those who love it and are always ready to guard and defend it. ~ Daniel Webster

It is commonly accepted that an attorney who practices criminal defense must take a liberal view of civil liberties and of the law and the Constitution.  I find myself, therefore, to be an unintentional oxymoron: a conservative defense attorney.

At the heart of conservatism is a distrust of government.  That is, because government tends toward waste, fraud, and abuse, the smaller the government is, the better.  The more it can be limited to its most essential functions, the more free our society will be.  Our federal Constitution attempts to limit the power of government to only those powers specifically enumerated therein.  The first ten amendments to the Constitution go further to list non-exclusive examples of those activities forbidden to government.  Many of these concern the criminal law.

The government is restrained from unreasonable search and seizure of our person and property. It is further restrained from inflicting cruel and unusual punishment.  The government cannot force us to incriminate ourselves or try us twice for the same offense.  We are also guaranteed the right to counsel, confrontation of witnesses, speedy trial and trial by jury.  A conservative may disagree with a liberal in matters of degree (e.g. What is cruel or unusual? What is an unreasonable search?), but the underlying principle of restraining the government against intrusion upon individual liberty is common ground we easily share.

As the proliferation of criminal laws continues, I think many conservatives will look around to find some strange bedfellows opposing new and onerous criminal laws.  Somehow, we have arrived at a point as a society that moral equivalence has rendered moot previously existing religious and social mores that restrained our behavior, and instead of seeking to reinstill those values, we have resorted to the criminal law to control all undesirable behavior.

Is it really necessary for larceny of pine straw to be a felony? Soliciting during school hours is a separate criminal offense? Making a false ambulance request? Leaving an open well? Throwing objects at sporting events? There are a slew of behaviors that are wrong, and should potentially open up liability in a civil action, but make no sense as a crime.

I still believe in non-intrusive searches, harsh penalties for serious crimes, harsher penalties for repeat offenders, and even the death penalty.  But I also believe in “beyond a reasonable doubt”, “better ten guilty men set free than one innocent man imprisoned”, and equal justice under the law.  Maybe that’s because I think the ultimate judge of our behavior is not an officer, a judge or a jury, and that, while there are guilty men who go free for a while, no one escapes His judgment.

Dealing with the Police

This is a subject that seems like common sense to me, but I’ve had a number of former clients or defendants to whom it was not so obvious, so (with apologies to Chris Rock) let’s talk about some do’s and don’ts for dealing with the police.  (I’ll talk in a future column about how to interact with the police as a victim or witness).

1. BE POLITE “Yes, sir.  No, sir. Yes, maam. No, maam.”    There is a time and place to assert and defend your rights.  (In fact, the 6th amendment guarantees you the right to hire an attorney to do just that.)  Get the chip off your shoulder, swallow your pride, and be polite.  You can call me later and complain.
2. MAKE THE OFFICER FEEL SAFE No quick movements.  No loud, aggressive or belligerent behavior.  In a traffic stop, keep your hands on the steering wheel and in sight (don’t start digging around in your glovebox or console).  Do not get out.  Turn off the engine.  Turn off the radio.  Turn on the interior lights.
3. PULL OVER QUICKLY History is full of examples of why this is a good idea.  Let’s just say that the longer it takes for you to pull over, the higher the officer’s heart rate, blood pressure and adrenaline go.  You want the officer that pulls you over to be calm, not amped-up and over-anxious.  If you pull over and they go right on by, great.  The negatives of making an officer have to chase you down or wonder whether you’re about to flee far outweigh any other possibility.
4. DO NOT CONSENT TO A SEARCH If the officer has grounds to search you, they will.  Sometimes, they’ll search you when they don’t.  Your lawyer cannot do anything about what the officer finds if you agreed to the search.  I’ve had clients consent to a search only to be surprised by what their worthless friend or relative left behind.  Ways to politely refuse a search:  “No. I’m sorry.”   “No, I really need to get home.”  “No, I really need to get to work.”  “No, sir.”  “Officer, I understand you’re just trying to do your job, and I appreciate that, but if you’re going to conduct a search, it will be without my consent.”
5. DO NOT CONFESS This does not mean you should argue with the officer.  However, being polite does not mean spilling the beans about everything.  You have the right to remain silent, and too few people exercise that right. For the vast majority of us, once the lights and siren come on, the officer has already made the decision to charge you with something. Confessing only solidifies the officer’s case.  It is the very rare case that just gets a warning, and if you’re that good looking, you should probably just play dumb anyway.
6. SIGN THE TICKET In North Carolina, signing a ticket simply means that you are acknowledging receipt of a citation and that you will appear on your court date (or waive your appearance through an attorney or paying it off).  You are not admitting guilt.  If you refuse to accept service in this fashion, the officer’s alternative is to arrest you and take you before the magistrate to sign a promise to appear in court.
7. DON’T DO IT AGAIN For goodness sake, if you just got pulled for speeding, don’t drive off and get caught doing the same thing five miles down the road.  At least have the decency to get across the county line.  It makes it impossible for your lawyer to get you a good result if it appears you need to be taught a lesson.

Ask almost any attorney about dealing with clients, and you’ll likely hear some version of “Can’t live with ‘em. Can’t live without ‘em.”  Clients can be unresponsive, unreasonable, unrealistic, unreliable, immature, and downright ornery.

So, from me to you, a few tips to my future clients, to help me better represent you:

1. Dress for court:  This is not an Allman Brothers concert, people.  Brush your teeth, Brush your hair, Wear your nice clothes.  First Impressions count.
2. Let me talk: Either you or the taxpayer is paying a tidy fee for my expertise, counsel and advocacy.  I will ask what you want to do, but you can’t have an intelligent opinion before I advise you on your options.  And for Pete’s sake, when we’re in front of the Judge, let me do the talking.  It’s what I get paid for.
3. Be reasonable: If you confessed to a serious felony, of which you have previously been convicted, which also has multiple eyewitnesses identifying you, don’t expect me to get you a quick and easy resolution of the case.  If you mouth off to the judge or his staff, don’t be surprised when he does mean and nasty things to your bond.  If you tell your probation officer where they can go, just pack your toothbrush.

Of course, attorneys have also been known to be unsympathetic, greedy, unreliable and dishonest, so it cuts both ways.  While every successful personal or professional relationship requires effort from both parties, there are several steps that an attorney can take to forge a harmonious attorney-client relationship.  Attorneys should be up front and realistic with clients about the realistic and possible outcome of their case.  The fee structure and costs should be clearly spelled out in advance.  Phone calls should be promptly returned.  And above all, be honest.

I expect this could become a recurring theme in this blog: friendly advice about what not to wear to court.  My all time favorite example in this category comes from my days as an intern in the Alamance County DA’s Office.

It was an ordinary day in District Court, except we had a kindly old retired judge sitting on the bench as a Special Judge (read: substitute).  At any rate, about mid-morning the Asst. D.A. calls up a lady who pleads guilty to a Drunk and Disorderly charge.  When I see the eyes of the ADA and the Clerk widen, I look around at the Defendant to see what she has done to draw their gaze.  That’s when I notice her T-shirt. That she wore to court.  On a Drunk and Disruptive charge:

I kid you NOT.

Of course, we’re all looking at her, and then at the judge, and back and forth, because OBVIOUSLY this woman is about to get slammed by the judge.  Instead, he gives her a very tame fine-and-court-costs punishment and sends her on her way.   Finally, we take a break and someone asks the judge in the hallway during the recess about “that woman’s shirt.”  The poor-old-kindly-retired-judge just returns a quizzical look.  Turns out he didn’t see the shirt (old age and eyesight and all).  The t-shirt is described to him, at which point his face turns red and he explodes into a rant about how, if he HAD seen the shirt, the woman would be serving 30 days in jail for contempt.

That would have been great.  I might have bought him a beer.